No pressure, my friend

I like to be pressure-free. Neither do I like to pressure myself, nor do I like to get pressure from others.

Friends. I have always believed in the Chinese saying that the friendship between noble people should be as bland as water 君子之交淡如水。It means that when we make friends, we should not expect anything from friends, and we should not make friends feel pressured to do anything because of us.  I am always hesitant to ask favors from friends, especially close friends---being close friends, I fear they will tend to feel the pressure to agree, and that makes me feel upset. I really hope one day people around me, will always tell me honestly, whenever they feel inconvenient to do something I asked for.

People now like to show "support" for friends. For me, I think it is quite unnecessary. We are friends because we share similar interests, but we do not have identical interests. When I am doing something I am interested in but you are not, why should you feel obliged to show support? Friendship, I feel, should be based on common interests and goals, not on reciprocity. One of my friends told me after my thesis defense that when he arrived, he knew he would not understand anything, and said those things are about friendship. I replied that is exactly the reason why I was reluctant to tell him the time and place of my defense. I feel guilty for creating pressure on you, my friend.  I showed up to your history thesis defense not because you are my friend, but because I am genuinely intrigued by your paper.

Friendship should be simple. No burden. Simple joy.